yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
