she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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