So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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