why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
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