How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
