I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
