fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize