i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
