Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
