a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm always down for nudity.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
