He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
