My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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