Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
