That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize