i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
is it fun? or sober?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
