After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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