Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
