I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
