No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
