haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
