I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
