tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
only you would photoshop your dick
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
