You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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