just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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