We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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