Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
