Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
