just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
