How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
