hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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