I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
