you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
