problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
