i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
