She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
