Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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