and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
