anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
