I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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