I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
