Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
