I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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