I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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