we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
