i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
