I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
