Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
