so let's talk penis.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
