Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize