i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
