hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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