I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
