i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
