we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
