maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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