OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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