i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
