I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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