its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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