I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
