lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
