it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
