just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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