I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
