Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They took my balls.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
