dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
